Alone
by Sixty Watermelons
Summary: Songfic to "Date Line" by Yellowcard. Blair and Chuck c. episode 2.13 or 2.14. R


_Is this just a matter of  
Me getting what I needed?  
'Til I was safe upon the other side  
Of the international dateline_

He stepped off the plane, holding nothing but his jacket, trying not to think of everything that he'd left behind in New York. He'd taken a long flight, throughout the duration of which he'd tried to forget about what he'd left. He tried to forget that he'd left Blair with only a note, not even telling her where he was. She'd never think of Thailand, halfway across the world. But that was his goal, wasn't it?

_And it's just a matter of  
Me keeping myself seated  
'Til the pilot killed the overdrive  
And landed in a place where you can't  
Find me there  
Find me there_

Nobody would find him there. He was sure of that, because when he didn't want something to happen, it didn't happen. It was always like that, ever since he could remember. He was ready to spend time forgetting, doing whatever it would take. However much money he had to spend on women, he didn't care. He wanted to forget that his father was dead, that he'd left Blair alone. He wanted to stop caring. I'm Chuck Bass, he told himself. What I want, I get.

_When you hold one chance  
And you break your hands  
When the secret's safe  
And you call my name  
Then I am gone_

Blair sat on her bed, holding the note in her hand. She wasn't sure if she should rip it up or keep it. He left her alone. She wasn't furious with him, like she thought she'd be. She just wanted to be alone. It had seemed like he had almost come around, only to escape. She silently cursed herself and lay back on her bed. I will not think about him, she told herself. I will distract myself.  
_  
I'm tired of you and me  
(Tired of you and me)  
And the space that's in between  
(Space that's in between)  
And I would rather be somewhere  
With better thoughts and warmer air_

Chuck tried not to think of her, what she was doing. Instead he focused on the Thai maid in his hotel room, putting towels in the closet. He knew that a few words were all he needed to distract himself. Instead he took another sip of his brandy, and he stepped onto the balcony, where the sun was shining. It was much warmer here. Then again, it was summer in the southern hemisphere now, and it was a freezing winter in New York.

_I'm tired of trying to be  
(Tired of trying to be)  
Somebody different than me  
(Different than me)  
I'm tired of trying to shine it on  
When the lights go out tonight, I'm gone  
I'll run from here  
Run_

He felt like a coward, running away from his problems. But he had to escape. Everything was closing in on him, his world collapsing in front of him. It had been his only choice, or at least it seemed that way. He couldn't stay in New York, where he was trapped. He had to leave.

_When you hold one chance  
And you break your hands  
When the secret's safe  
And you call my name_

Blair came back home, her arms full of shopping bags. She had managed to distract herself for a few hours among the world of designer clothes and trendy labels, a world she could find comfort in. Unloading the clothes, she struggled to keep herself from thinking about Chuck. Her period of distraction was over, and now she wasn't distracted anymore. "Where are you, Chuck?" she wondered out loud.

_When the hurt gets real  
And you still can't feel  
When you can't escape  
And you cannot stay  
Then I am gone_

Chuck woke up, slightly hung over, the maid in bed next to him. He rubbed his forehead, trying to clear his head. He couldn't remember anything that had happened after he was out on the balcony. He blamed the alcohol, and he went out to the balcony and looked out at the distance again, out at the ocean, and when he went back into the room the maid was gone.  
_  
Safe upon the other side  
Of the international dateline  
I landed in a place that you can't find  
You can't find me there  
You can't find me there_

"I don't know where he could be," Blair complained to Serena. "Why would he just leave like that?"

"I don't know, B," she said, trying not to show how uncomfortable she was with this conversation. She was trying to support Blair, but it seemed kind of obvious to her. Chuck was a womanizer, and he didn't want to be tied down. She knew Blair had heard him tell her to stop playing the wife, but she didn't want to remind her of this. Blair looked like she hadn't slept in a few days, and there was no reason to stress her out any more.

_When you hold one chance  
And you break your hands  
When the secret's safe  
And you call my name_

In only two days, Chuck had already hooked up with six different women. He was drinking heavily every chance he got and even smoking pot to distract himself. At least he thought it was pot. It might be hash; he had stopped paying attention. He was completely wasted, but he wasn't thinking of Blair.

_When the hurt gets real  
(The hurt gets real)  
And you still can't feel  
(Still can't feel)  
When you can't escape  
(Can't escape)  
And you cannot stay  
Then I am gone_

Blair curled up in bed, trying to get some sleep. She'd failed miserably to stop thinking of Chuck. Everything she did, she thought of him. She was getting sick of it. Tomorrow was New Year's Eve, she reminded herself. There's a party with the van der Woodsens and everyone who was anyone in New York. She had to be well rested.

_Safe upon the other side  
Of the international dateline  
I landed in a place that you can't find_

Chuck was trying to fall asleep in the hotel room, despite the fact it was the middle of the day. It was the New Year, but he didn't want to celebrate. He felt like there were nails being hammered into his skull and he just wanted to be alone.

_When the last plane leaves  
And you cry for me  
When you lie awake  
And you feel it break  
Then I am gone_

Blair fell asleep, crying like she had every night. She was glad to be alone. Nobody could see her like this. If they did, she'd be ruined. She'd lose her status as Queen. It was better to be alone when it came to this. It was the only way to deal with it, anyway. Alone.


End file.
